They can be celebrations of a momentous occasions. You get dressed up. You go out to dinner. You eat cake. You smile. You’re happy.
However, not all anniversaries are happy. An anniversary effect can occur around the time of an unsettling event, such as a traumatic event or a loss. The loss may be in the form of a death, the end of a relationship, a job or the loss of anything of significance in one’s life. During the time around this event, an individual may experience unsettling feelings. They may become depressed. They may become anxious. They may show symptoms of PTSD. They may reminisce about the time period and think about what their life was like before this event happened.
A year ago today, I had a cold. I was worn out, but pushed myself physically. That’s what I used to do. That’s what I did that day. It was my day off from work. I took an aerial silks class in the morning and then took a handstand class in the afternoon after picking up my daughter from preschool. I went with my husband and a friend to a ninja warrior course at night. I injured my shoulder while going across a set of rings. I was hanging from one arm and felt a pull. I didn’t think it was a big deal. I brushed it off and kept going. I ate sushi for dinner. I made plans for the future. I laughed and smiled. I never in a million years would have seen this day as a turning point for me. In my mind- November 17, 2017, has become a day that set off a course of unsettling events for me.
The shoulder injury landed up being more serious than I anticipated. It took away the activity that I was passionate about for an extended period of time, which in turn left me feeling depressed. In the midst of recovering from all of this, I began experiencing unusual neurological symptoms. There was a week-long period where I had difficulty walking and getting words out of my mouth. I began experiencing daily headaches, numbness and vertigo. I was given a a diagnosis of a rare neurological condition known as a Chiari Malformation. This diagnosis left me with more questions than answers. I searched for help and hit many brick walls along the way. I was belittled and my issues were dismissed as a “fluke.” I was discouraged and disappointed about the way I was treated.
Fortunately, I have been able return to the activity I love and I am finally on the right path to getting the help I need for for this condition. However, I look back at this day with sadness. It should have just been a fun day of doing the activities that I love with people I love. Instead, it’s become the day I realized that I am not invincible. I am not the healthy, physically strong person, I believed I was. Life is no longer the simple routine of work, taking care of my kids and working out. It has become more complicated. There is more on my mind. I am weary. I often don’t feel great. I still tell silly jokes, make sarcastic comments, play with my kids, work, and hang upside down when my body allows. However, I am not same Lauren. There is no going back, so I have no choice but to move forward and accept the many curveballs life started throwing at me on November 17th of last year.
I am certainly not celebrating today, as I would an ordinary anniversary, but I am embracing having made it through these challenges this far. This story is far from over. However, I look forward to celebrating the happier anniversaries that are still to come.
Delusions of Parenthood 
I completely understand where you’re coming from here. I had a hip injury that stemmed from a seemingly innocuous fall during a soccer game. It took forever to figure out what was going on. It’s so hard when our bodies fail us and things are out of our control. I now
have so many happy anniversaries attached to that episode of my life,
When the doctor figured it out,
When the surgery helped, when I was able to get back to what I enjoyed. I hope the same for you!
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It’s interesting how injuries can impact us when they take away what we love. I’m glad you are healed and embracing the happier things associated with your injury.
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Thank you for sharing your story and I have to say you are a great writer! Life can change so quickly, it’s a good reminder to be thankful for each healthy day. All the best.
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Thank you for sharing your story! I love the way you wrote it and your photos are so ‘real’!
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17th november is a special day in a good way for me! Its sad to hear that it didn’t turn out for you that way! I’m glad that you made through it and you’re back on your track again ☺ And I love the last quote 👍
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Thank you! I am glad that you had something to celebrate on the 17th!!!
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Love this! Thank you for being so open and honest! Life can change so quickly, I’m glad you’re back at it again!
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So glad you have been able return to the activity you love and on the right path to getting the help you need!
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I’m so sorry about your shoulder injury and I’m quite glad you’re getting all the help you need to get back on track. Please stay strong and keep pushing forward!
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I love that last quote! It is such a weird feeling when we realize we aren’t invincible. I love they way you put this!
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Thanks! I think that’s the hardest part – realizing that you aren’t invincible. I’m a sucker for inspirational quotes!
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This is a very motivational story thanks for sharing it certainly is not easy pushing yourself through obstacles and parenting.
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Thanks for sharing you emerged out thankfully, I can relate to it
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You’re welcome! I’m glad you emerged out ok as well! It’s a process
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I can relate to this. Although it’s 7 years ago, i feel anxious coming up to the anniversary of the 6.3 quake every Feb. It is not like it’s going to happen again on the same date though! 🙂
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It’s not necessarily the date itself, it’s the emotions around the date. Thanks for commenting! I understand why you would anxious
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I can definitely relate to this post. My dad died in 2012 and I always dread the anniversary. It was a gut-wrenching experience and I hate reliving it every year.
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Ugh, I’m so sorry, Christine. That must be so hard on you. It’s crazy how dates and the memories associated with them impact you.
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I love the quotes you used in your post. I hope your recovery is full and complete.
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Thank you so much!
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Thank for sharing this. It was so open and is relatable to some. I hope things only get better in the future.
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What a powerful post. There are a lot of dates on my own personal calendars that aren’t happy anniversaries. But, those days pushes us to remember those moments and push through life.
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Yes!! You are spot on! They certainly push us to attempt to make things better for the future.
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Life can change in an instant sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad. I am generally a negative person, and I am trying to find the good in even the bad life changes.
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I hear you! It’s hard to find the good in crappy situations. I saw a meme recently that said, “don’t ask why did this happen to me. Instead ask, what did I learn from it?”
Are you from Charlotte? That’s where I live. I must check out your blog.
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